Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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