you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just had sex on a roof
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
