Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize