We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Randomize
