hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There r osticjed everywhere
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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