This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
