Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
