I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There r osticjed everywhere
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
