Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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