my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
