i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
