Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
