Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ride that face into the sunset
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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