guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
please don't ironically join a cult
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