Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
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I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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