I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
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I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
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Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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