Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
