so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
