I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
