This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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