I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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