I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
