kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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