The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
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No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
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I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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