Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
