Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
