I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
two words: eviction party
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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