You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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