I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I could fuck to npr.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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