honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
