She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
