Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
