shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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