Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
