We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize