How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just got carded by a ten year old.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
That's how pantless uber rides happen
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
