Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize