i just wanna soil my oats bro
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
