She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
