small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
