my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
