Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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