I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
