so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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