I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
