The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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