yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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