Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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