Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
