Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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