guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize