so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
