Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
