It's Friday. Sex?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
