craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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