Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
