She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
