idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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