so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
