who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
