If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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